Those words are haunting when I think about the actual story of New Moon. Edward must leave Bella, the love of his life, and these are the words he tells her. Sad. Tragic. Heartbreaking. But so not true.
Man, if only my ex-husband said those words to me when he left me for someone else! It would be great to never have to think of him! Who is with me? As much as we try to forget, are the people who leave your life every really forgotten? Can they be? (By the way, I can't get rid of him cause we share a kid, not because I'm still in love with him. Just wanted to make that CLEAR!!!)
Every person in your life is there for a reason and they all leave their own personal footprint on the path of your soul. I don't believe those footprints ever magically disappear. So this all leads me to another thought. What if you never get over someone who was a part of your life once? What if their impact was so monumental that you are never able to leave them behind you? Some of us suffer with this on a daily basis. We beat ourselves up wondering, questioning, hurting over the fact that maybe, just maybe, that one special person was not supposed to leave us.
People come and people go. But that ONE person never really leaves us. It is that one person that is the model for all others to compare to. How unfair is that? We pick out little things about a new someone that compare with the ONE. "He's just as funny as the ONE." When the new person doesn't live up to the ONE in someway, we find that we are disappointed. Living in the past, in what you see in your mind as perfection, is unhealthy, but it's reality. We never really forget the ONE.
Can we erase someone as though they never existed? No, but we can take steps to quit dwelling on them.
1. Get rid of anything left from them that keeps you holding on to them or hoping that they will come back. For me, at one time in my life, was a letter that promised that maybe someday in the future, we could get back together. I burned it. It was difficult. I held on to that letter for 8 years!!!
This also would include deleting text messages that were sweet and loving. You know the ones. Get rid of them.
Don't get rid of pictures though, but put them away if you have them some where you can view them often.
2. Try not to put yourself in that person's path in anyway. If they are married, not a good plan to try to see them.
3. Give up on the comparisons. Everyone is different. Learn to enjoy someone for the way they are. If you can't enjoy these things, or they make you unhappy, then it just isn't right! Don't force it.
4. Lose their number. Enough said.
5. It is great to stay friends, but if it sends you into a tailspin every time you see them, don't do it. If you can do it and not be affected, then obviously there isn't a problem.
6. If you are single and he/she is single, pour your heart out in a non-psycho way and put it on the table. You will get your answer one way or the other. If they still want you, they'll take you back. If not, there ya go. Case closed, move on.
Most people hold on to their first loves and not always do those situations work out. For one, you are young, practically undamaged by the brutality of relationships. You haven't been heartbroken and let down repeatedly. Everything is fresh, new, exciting. Safe. You are able to love in a way that at the age of 31, a divorce under my belt, and few broken hearts, I could never love that way again.
No one ever really leaves you. You just find a way of making them a memory and trying to smile when you think about them. Sometimes it hurts, but you never forget.
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